Battlefield Earth

Review

I've never read "Battlefield: Earth", but save for the horror novel "Fear", I've never thought much of L. Ron Hubbard as an author. But since Travolta produced the film, and selected first-time screenwriter Corey Mandell to pen the adaptation (reportedly, covering only the first half of the novel, and yes, a sequel has already been threatened), I assume the script is reasonably faithful to Hubbard's astonishingly uninspired ideas. We're to become involved in tale of cave-dwelling humans in the year 3000, oblivious to their civilization's past since the Earth was invaded--in a mere 9 minutes--nearly 1000 years earlier by the evil Psychlos, who coveted the planet for its wealth of gold. Yes, gold. The aliens are here for gold--just like Warwick Davis in the Leprechaun series.

Travolta? Well, the less said the better. He's absolutely horrible with his prissy mannerisms, "eeeevil" cackle, and silly latex claws...

Like Yor, "Man-animal" Johnny Goodboy Tyler leaves his tribe (here, in the Rockies) and soon becomes captured in an alien camp in what's left of Denver, now covered in a protective casing and a toxic atmosphere duplicating that of the Psychlos' home world. Tyler leads a human uprising after he escapes (thanks to an "intelligence" enhancing gizmo), and with his fur-clad devotees, discovers a library and a military depot with conveniently houses still-operational guns, tanks, and Harrier Jets. Now, it was funny in Sleeper when Woody Allen found a 300 year old Volkswagen still in working order, but that film was a COMEDY. Pushing credibility right over the edge into oblivion, Tyler and his men learn to FLY the jets thanks to a handy flight simulator. And you thought Randy Quaid flying the fighter jet in ID4 was a stretch.

Duping greedy Psychlo Terl (like "Yor"s unnamed "Overlord", a long haired, black clad cackling villain hell-bent on world domination) into co-operating with a raid on Fort Knox (yep, still in tact--can't the Psychlos' scanners detect gold bricks in the basement of a building?), Tyler and his Top Guns eventually overcome their captors with some good old fashioned military might and with the aide of alien technology, blow up the Psychlos' ENTIRE PLANET with a single nuclear bomb (like "Yor", it ends with a big explosion and much inspirational blather).

Of course, many a lame S.F. epic has been rendered watchable by nifty gadgets and cool sets (Event Horizon even Mission To Mars), but not this one. Director Roger Christian, who previously helmed the fine telekinesis thriller The Sender, shows little evidence that he was ever an art director on George Lucas' Star Wars® films by filling every frame with murky production design, unconvincing mattes, and drab model work that wouldn't pass for an old "Captain Power" episode. Even the opening titles are cheap, like a hasty re-titling of a foreign B-picture. Worse are the film's apparent "star attraction", the Psychlos themselves, which resemble a combination of Klingons on stilts and the most two-dimensional Saturday morning baddies this side of "Thundercats". I'm not sure what aspect of their anatomy is more impractical and ridiculous: the large heads and dirty dreadlocks, the rubbery talons, or the huge lifts under their space boots which obviously cause everyone who wears them difficulty walking.

Talk Back

Performances are generally unappreciated in films of this type, but it's a good actor who can hold his own with FX shop creations and still forge some semblance of a human being, even if it is one under scales, fur, or all those funny brow ridges they keep using on Star Trek. Charismatic Barry Pepper, a fine upcoming young actor best known for Saving Private Ryan and The Green Mile, gives the thankless hero role of Johnny Goodboy Tyler his all (thanks mostly to understated delivery and his haunted, Christopher Walken-ish features) and for the most part, emerges from this mess with his dignity intact. Forrest Whittaker grunts and croaks like Fat Albert in Predator gear, and Travolta--well, the less said the better. He's absolutely horrible with his prissy mannerisms, "eeeevil" cackle, and silly latex claws--so bad that he instils pain in the viewer, rather than laughter. Not that Travolta can't play an effective rotter--remember him as Castor Troy-as-Sean-Archer in John Woo's Face/Off? I highly recommend throwing on that contemporary action classic the moment you get home to extinguish the bad aftertaste and leave your impression of post-Pulp Fiction Travolta a good one, if you're still brave enough to take in a screening of this catch-it-while-you-can turkey. I did...it worked.

Given that it's been 23 years since the release of the original Star Wars®, and science fiction has moved out of the "nerd" ghetto to become a mainstream staple, I'm not sure WHOM this film is for. Travolta insists that he was attracted to Hubbard's novel for its potential as big screen entertainment, and not Scientology propaganda in disguise, and I must say, for some reason I believe him. But what I can't comprehend is that Travolta, until recently a fairly keen picker of scripts, thought that this harebrained, derivative nonsense had anything to offer a generation reared on Lucas' trilogy, or Blade Runner, The Matrix, or the many Star Trek spin-offs. Has Travolta lived in a cinematic vacuum? Battlefield Earth MIGHT work for casual space fans or the very young (I was shocked to hear a smattering of applause from the audience during the tepid climax), but I doubt even they would find the unappealing visuals, indistinguishable characters, and sloppy pacing the least bit engrossing.

If "Battlefield Earth" serves one positive purpose, it'll be to perhaps make a lot of previously panned science fiction epics look a whole lot better. David Lynch's Dune, Starship Troopers, Star Wars: The Phantom Menace®, and even Costner's The Postman all attempted to communicate some ideas and push the envelope of the blockbuster a little further, even if these intentions were eclipsed by special FX or filmmaker's vanity. These films at least had the decency to "dazzle". "Battlefield Earth" is too inept to accomplish either. If this stinker lives on at all, it'll be to replace Waterworld as a punchline.

I wouldn't count on seeing too many "Psychlos" this Halloween...

- Robert L

[Battlefield Earth photo gallery]

Talk Back